Friday, June 29, 2012

Is That Grounds for Termination?

One of my co-workers has been MIA for the past two weeks, and when she finally came in today, her eyes were red and full of tears. I assumed the worst. Maybe her grandfather passed away or her partner was in a horrific car accident. Even though I don't know her very well, I sent her an e-mail and let her know that if there was anything I could do for her, let me know. Alright folks, I may be a bitch, but I'm not totally heartless and I really meant what I said. She wrote back and asked for some help locating a box of tissues. T-Rex likes to hoard all the good supplies so instead of handing her a box of tissue made from fine brillo pads, I unscrupulously snatched a box of name brand tissue from under T-Rex's desk. I know, sacrilegious! I'm not really good with crying vaginas, even mine own, so I just stood there awkwardly while she sobbed into the box. Yes, into the motherfucking box. Mid sob, she takes a break to ask me if I want to see her guinea pig. I think it's a strange request, but the girl is a mess, so I say sure. I'm faking oooing and ahhing noises over numerous pictures of an obese guinea pig when she erupts and tells me how her guinea pig is dying and she just haven't been able to work because of it. I gave her a pat on the shoulder and walked away. Bitch is cray.

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