Saturday, December 15, 2012

Power Of Make Up

I don't wear make up because I don't want to set the standard too high for myself, but putting on a nice dress and blazer is different because I'm dressing for the job I want and it's out of respect for my co-workers and the work environment. Putting on make up has so many negatives for me. For instance, it requires me to wake up earlier, spend time learning how to apply it appropriately, and spend money on products and tools (I'm a cheap ass).

Recently, I purchased several Butter London nail polishes for a friend and I ended up receiving several beauty samples. One of them was Giorgio Armani luminous silk foundation and just for shits and giggles, I decided to try it out. And holy shit, it made my skin glow!

Here's what my skin looks like with the foundation:

And here's my skin before:

I don't think I have shitty skin, but I sure feel like I do when I look at the before and after. This can hurt my self esteem because I'm setting beauty standards too high for myself, and I'm not sure if I want to buy into society's standards even thought I have no problem spending several hundred dollars on a dress and squeezing my fat toes into heels. Pick and choose your battles they say, and I am opting out of this one.

Thursday, December 13, 2012


Scott wrote “prolapsed:” on the white board, turned to me and asked, “Do you get it?” “Yes, I know what prolapsed means, I –“ and then I erupted into fits of unladylike laughter. Ben, who is eleven years old, looked confused and asked, “I don’t get it. What does it mean? I looked to Scott and he walks away.

I am unfazed by this because I realized that this is one of those teachable moments that you have to seize because the American educational system is inadequate and broken. In fact, I consider it my civic duty. Somebody please drop the banner that says “The more you know” and release the balloons. Children, gather around, your aunty has a story to share.

An individual can prolapsed one’s vagina or anus. It can sometimes happen vaginally when a mother is pushing out the baby and she somehow pushes out her vagina. The same thing can happen with your anus, but in this case, it would be caused by anal sex or whatever.

“What!?” Young Ben exclaims.

This is where Scott steps in. I think he said something like “You know how when you shit you can push too hard? Well, you can push other stuff out besides shit. Google “prolapsed anus.”

There is something I can learn from here and I think it goes something like this, “Google, do you use it Motherfucker?”