The Heavenely Scent of Lysol

Engineering came over today for inspections, and when one of them saw the state of our restrooms, he immediately got on his radio and loudly proclaimed, "Good grief, the bathrooms are a mess! There's trash everywhere, there's nobody servicing this! Where's the housekeeper, is he on his break? I mean, this is just embarrassing!" The promise of a lemon scented bathroom with toilet and paper towels is a little overwhelming right now, and a tear is sitting on top of my left lacrimal caruncle and it's threatening to spill over. So guy who works for engineering, I salute you!

Don't Listen To Your Friends

I've made a choice to stop being a whiny bitch and look for a new job. I'm terrified of the unknown, but I need to suck it up and do it. It's not like I need the money and I have resources to find another job. I work hard, and I know I can meet challenges successfully, but you'll never know that if you've ever interviewed me. I comb blogs and friends for tips, practice in front of the mirror, and even have a mental Rolodex of examples of my virtues, but the moment I step into the room, my voice will start shaking (once it was so bad that my teeth were chattering like it was below freezing) and my pits become drenched in the most vinegary sweat.

One of the most common tips my friends give me is that I need to act like I know shit I don't know anything about. And being the dumbass I am, I followed this piece of gold nugget today. So when my interviewer asked me about my skills in Excel, I made it sound like I shat Excel rainbows on a daily basis. So when his follow up question was "Can you please tell me what the "and" function does?" I freaked out and sputtered a few mumbled words out, but I knew I was done. I feel like an asshole for lying, and I should have gone with the truth. So I've learned my lesson, and from now on, this bitch is going do me...is that how the saying goes?

It's Dificult Because You Make It Difficult

We have no reliable janitors at work. Probably because the organization we must use hire these awesome guys straight out of prison or rehab. So we frequently run out of toilet paper in the bathroom, have an ant problem because the trash is never taken out, and the carpet is disgusting because vacuuming is only done once a month if we're lucky. So it's really up to employees to do all these wonderful things, but nobody does it for free. The incentive is not appreciation of a clean workplace but a gift card in small denomination either at Applebees, Safeway, Red Lobster, Red Robin, Chili's, or Starbucks. All very classy and delightful choices I might add. But you know what, as cheesy as this is going to sound, the best rewards come when your supervisors or co-workers notice and appreciate the extra things you do to help the team. I don't do what I do for the appreciation, otherwise I would be one bitter asshole, but it's nice to be noticed. But you know what's better than appreciation? When your boss comes in with a Costco bag size of chocolate treats and starts throwing them onto the desks of employees he values. No chocolate was thrown at me, and I'm butt hurt. I don't work with my boss directly like many of my co-workers, so I don't expect him to include me in lunch outings or try to have a conversation with me when I bump into him in the break room, but what a dick thing to do.