Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Smells Amazing, Taste Like Crap

We had a site wide meeting for our department today. It's one of those moral boost pow wows, but mostly it provided an audience for my boss to pontificate his achievements. I also like to mention that it was accompanied by complimentary bagels and coffee to entice the enthralled because I certainly was. The meeting did provide a wonderful opportunity to train myself to nap with my eyes open. Toward the end of his hour long speech, I was rudely shaken awake by one succulent line, "I think if you're upfront and honest, your people will be more loyal to you." How I wished my supervisor was there to hear those magical words and take it to heart. But fortunately, I live in reality where the only thing I could do was sip my black cherry tea that smelled wonderful, but tasted like nothing.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Bread And Butter

You know the co-worker that is disliked by almost everybody in the office? Well, there are several in my office. One of them is E because she has selective cleaning OCD. Sure, she'll loan you a pen, but she'll make a big show of taking out her Cost-Co size isopropyl  and sanitizing it before she places it back into her writing utensil tray. But I've seen that bitch drop a Star Burst, rise it off, and popped it into her mouth! I think everybody knows that she's passive aggressively telling you that she doesn't like you, so it's not rare to stumble upon an occasional bashing on this particular individual. But you know what is uncomfortable? When your supervisor does it. Sure, I could have joined in because everybody knows that I love to hate, but remember my resolution? So I did what most people would do - kept my fucking mouth shut and listened. You always have a choice, and I could have said that his comments were inappropriate, but I choose to stay on my supervisor's good side because in the future, I might ask for a raise or a recommendation. And that's how the bread is buttered.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

You So Cray

You know you work with crazies when...

1. Your boss sends everybody a fascinating paper on "Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One's Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments."
2. Your supervisor tells your new co-worker about her crazy cat obsession (everything from how she had to put down one of her cats a year ago because she was pooping everywhere and how she likes to collect strays) on her second day.
3. Your co-worker insists that you change the font for the weekly minutes because she finds it offensive.